Sexuality is about polarity, not androgyny.
99% of attraction is based on an embodiment of the masculine or feminine; you can't argue with biology.
Just read this first. Trust me.
OK, we good? Let’s get to the post:
If you’re a girl and you want to shave most of your head, dye the rest white or red or green or blue, and wear jeans the size of trucker’s mud-flaps, be my guest.
If you’re a dude going for a dad bod who can’t be bothered to wear anything but sweatpants and tee shirts, cool.
People should do what they want, be who they want, and express themselves however they see fit as long as they’re not hurting anyone else.
But don’t expect people to think you’re attractive if you’re not.
Like, the current trend where young women cut their hair short and dress like teenage boys…
That’s not a good look.
Billie Eilish is an example of what NOT to do (there’s a reason she got so much attention for that Vogue shoot—because she can actually be sexy if she tries to look feminine as opposed to a bored, masculine child), so if you’re going for a style that men find attractive, look elsewhere.
Also, since I know this is going to come up, let’s just get it out of the way early: I get that the modern, powerful “feminist” American woman isn’t supposed to care about whether or not men find her attractive, but y’all do.
For the record I submit exhibits A and B: IG and Tik-Tok.
“I don’t need no manz and I want to look good for my own self!”
*then posts endless pics of herself in bikinis on IG and three Tik-Toks a day*
Sure you don’t…
Come on ladies: it’s obvious—it’s a billion dollar industry (if not more)—and pretending you don’t want male attention when you clearly do is the biggest #cope EVER.
And you know what?
It’s OK!
It’s OK to want to be pretty and look cute and buy fancy shoes and wear short skirts and show some skin and get attention from handsome men! In fact, it’s more than OK: it’s perfectly normal. Like, if you’re a woman, that’s what every spec of DNA in every cell of your body is telling you to do, because that’s how we reproduce.
It’s the same reason why women like tall, strong, handsome men, especially if they have some measure of wealth and status—and why men, if we want to attract beautiful women, should try to embody those qualities to whatever extent we can.
And if there was some great confusion about these facts—if either sex weren’t attracted to the polar qualities of their opposite, whether male or female—evolution would’ve kicked our ass. We would not now exist. Because for most of human history, the vast majority of children died before reaching sexual maturity and it was rare for adults to live much past 25-30, so if we were even slightly confused about who to fuck or whether we wanted to, our species would be extinct.
But somehow an awful lot of people in 2021 are in the business of pretending there are multiple genders, that gender and sex aren’t inextricably linked, and indeed, that masculine and feminine are social constructs rather than the biological result of millions of years of evolution.
Like, can we please follow the science?
The reason seems pretty clear: the trans-panic we’re currently having (more on this later), as well as the fact feminists think it’s in their interest for people to believe these things. And if anyone dares to point out the truth that this is bullshit, they’re labeled as misogynists and transphobes fit for cancelation and exile and all the vileness that comes with it on social media.
Let me say very clearly: I support full and equal rights for women as well as transpeople (indeed for all)—but we don’t need to pretend biological sex isn’t real to accomplish those goals. Moreover, doing so will inflict tremendous harm on the 95%+ of the population who are heterosexual men or women—in some cases, devastating consequences.
A woman I’m dating recently told me: “girls today date beta males (yes, she used that term) because they want to be in control and make all the decisions and have all the power.”
“Do they though?”
“No—not really. They usually end up unhappy and sabotaging the relationship.”
That sounds super awesome. Yay feminism! Yay trans rights! Let’s confuse everyone about the most basic aspect of their personhood because less than 1% of all humans experience gender dysphoria and some small subset of women are unattractive, masculine, and hate men.
Is it really any surprise this doesn’t work?
It shouldn’t be, because at the end of the day, most women want to be submissive, pretty, and feminine and they want a strong, dominant, powerful man as a partner. It’s a story as old as time. It’s embedded in our biology.
And again: it’s OK. We just need to stop pretending otherwise.
Polarity of the masculine or feminine is what drives sexual attraction.
Let’s start with a few facts here:
On average, men weight 15% more than women.
On average, men are six inches taller than women.
Men have about 30% more upper body strength than women, and only one in 20 women is as strong as the average man.
Men have twice as much grip strength as women.
Men have 7 to 8 times more testosterone than women.
The fastest boy at your local high school track meet probably runs a faster 100m than the Olympic record 100m for women.
Women are on average smarter, less susceptible to disease, and live considerably longer than men.
I could go on, but you get the point. Men and women are radically different.
Tall, muscular, big, powerful, confident, handsome, dominant = man.
Small, curvy, lithe, graceful, cunning, beautiful, submissive = woman.
The more you embody these traits, the more attractive people will find you. Them’s the fact y’all. Sorry, I guess? (not really)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And if you can’t get your head around that, then good luck with whatever you’re doing, but you might as well try disagreeing with gravity. Think men and women are just socialized to be different and gender’s a spectrum? Go jump off a bridge and see if you can talk Newton into letting you survive the fall.
Guys: having the flash car or huge truck or a fancy watch or a cool tattoo won’t help you if you’re a chicken shit with tiny arms, a passive attitude, and no ambition. Nor will having lots of money, or for that matter, being famous if you’re too old or fat or shy or want to talk endlessly about your feelings.
No—women want MEN: big, strong, muscular, tall men with deep voices and confidence—not little boys or masculinized girls, and certainly not people who are constantly apologizing for their very existence, as Western culture currently teaches men to do.
And ladies, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you cut you hair short, get fat, old and/or run around domineering every situation and decision and can’t just be a decent, pleasant human being to be around, guys aren’t going to want to be with you. Those aren’t traits we’re geared to find attractive. So you can tell yourself that it’s all socialized and that being sexy is about attitude and accomplishments and being a boss ass queen bitch all you want, but that’s what you find attractive in men, not what men find attractive in women.
YOU CAN’T NEGOTIATE ATTRACTION—a point very few people seem to understand these days (full disclosure: not an original thought on my part, but nevertheless true and inviolable).
Nor can you redefine what it should be to match your opinion on the matter. Sexuality and desire aren’t matters that are up for debate or argument; they’re hardwired into our biology.
It’s actually quite ironic, because we’ve finally come to understand this when it comes to gay people. Some men like other men. Some women like other women. And you can’t train them or teach them or convince them otherwise, even though the vast majority of people are heterosexual.
Same is true for trans people, right? Not with regard to sexuality, but with regard to gender: if a biological male says she’s a woman, I’m inclined to believe she isn’t just making that shit up.
And that’s true for everyone. You can tell men they should like older women with short hair and a fat belly all you want. You could show boys pictures of that older woman from age five to 25 and tell them that’s the peak of female beauty, then give them the choice to fuck a woman who looked like that, or a super hot buxom 21 year old girl, and guess what? They’re all going to choose the hot chick.
And that’s not immoral or wrong—it’s biology. We’re attracted to the polar masculine and feminine. It’s why they make Barbies with a ridiculously unrealistic bust and why 90% of the women on Fox News are hot blondes and why girls think Quarterbacks are sexy and male strippers are all ripped with square jaws and big muscles.
Honestly, the fact I have to write this—and write it using a pseudonym—just goes to show how fucking crazy our society has gone. Because it’s OBVIOUS. I might as well be writing that the sky is blue or that water is wet.
And yet here we are…
Confusing people in this way leads to horrible consequences.
As I said in the beginning, everyone should be who they are and be free to do so without discrimination or a loss of rights.
But the path we take in life and our overall happiness is highly correlated with our sex, gender, and sexuality. And when we train men to be a bunch of damn pussies running around emoting about their feelings and sporting dad bods, or tell women that motherhood is slavery and they should instead be domineering, mannish assholes who ruthlessly climb the corporate ladder or otherwise they’ve failed, we’re setting people up for horribly unsatisfying, unhappy lives.
That’s bad.
The kind of people I’ve just described are likely to have far fewer sexual opportunities, fewer relationships, be less likely to have kids or get married, and be more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and as a consequence, commit suicide.
Like, if that’s what you want to sign up for, go ahead—but most people don’t want any of that. No one says: I want to live a sexless, loveless, shitty life so I can defy gender norms. And anyone who does—unless that’s truly who they are (which has got to be incredibly rare)—is fucking insane.
And by the way, this is why I used the term “transpanic” earlier. Because while there is no question that if someone is trans, they should be supported in every possible way, there is also no doubt that we have confused people so badly about sex and gender that some large number of people—especially teenage girls—are not convincing themselves they’re trans when in fact, they are not…it’s just that being a teenage girl is hard and confusing.
But the panic is that we can’t say so. Abigail Shrier, with whom I disagree on many issues, has written an entire book about this, documenting the science and speaking with experts, and what is her prize for this heroic work?
An attempt at cancelation.
Same with Deborah Soh, Ayaan Hirsh Ali, Jesse Singal, etc. I mean, for fuck’s sake they tried to cancel JK Rowling and want us to say “people with uteruses” now, instead of “women.”
Like, isn’t the world confusing enough without confusing people about the most basic fact of their biology? Less than 1% of people are trans, and by every indiction, the average stay-at-home mom is far happier than the most strident feminists—almost all of whom are just unattractive outliers in terms of the female sex.
That’s not misogyny—that’s just a fact. And yet it’s seemingly a fact we have to pretend isn’t.
So I guess I’ll end this by saying: you do you, but proceed at your own risk.
If you’re a girl who likes dudes (and statistics say it’s at least 93% and then another three to four percent who ID as bisexual), you should try to embody feminine qualities as best you can if you want to get a hot guy.
The reverse is true for straight dudes—which again, 95% are. Be masculine. Don’t be feminine.
If you’re gay, you’re gay, but even then polarity tends to win. Gay guys hit on me all the time when I’m out because I’m manly, tall, muscular, and confident. I would assume the same thing happens with sexy women vis-a-vis lesbians.
Accept responsibility for your losses though, whoever and whatever you are.
People are animals.
So are you.
Act accordingly.
It's a sad sign of the times that I find this so deeply refreshing. Surely everything you're saying here is blatantly obvious, but we seem to have forgotten these foundational basics.